Ordinary

A happy life would be anything but ordinary in my mind.  That word, "ordinary," has negative vibes if you ask me.  But I'm learning that most of life is just that - ordinary, nothing special, day-to-day business.  It has been a rude and unwelcome lesson these past few months.

You see, I use to be doing something special.  I had ventured up to an unknown territory to reach a community of lost teenagers with the hope and love that is other-worldly.  That's a fancy way of telling you that I moved up north to do Christian youth ministry.  It was uncharted waters that I felt a great calling to.  In my eyes and in the eyes of many I shared with, I was doing something great for the Kingdom of God; something few would choose to do.  It was hard and at times I struggled with why I was doing it, but then I would remember that I was chosen, called to the task that God had entrusted to me.  The Lord knows me and the gifts that he has given me and I was the one He was using.  Clearly, I was special.  The mission I was on contributed to this uniqueness.  Of course, I spoke of my self-worth not being wrapped up in what I did.  My actions didn't matter to God, he loved me regardless of the ministry I served in.  I was God's child, not His employee.  I knew this truth.  I was free from performing for God, but it was a huge benefit that I served in ministry.

Then came the season that I was out of ministry and working a "normal" 9-5 job.  Bam!  My life was all of a sudden so ordinary and boring.  I clocked in and clocked out.  I sat at a desk, answered the phone, spoke with customers.  What happened to my amazing life?  How could I have ruined my special status?  Doesn't God see the time and gifts he's wasting by having me in this position that lacks impact?

Of course God knows what he's doing.  This time is not wasted, nor are my gifts being set aside for less important tasks.  I'm good at what I do in my current job position.  I work with some great people who are fun and loving.  It's a positive environment and I have little to complain about.  Once again, I am grateful for the place God has provided for me.

But it's not surprising to me the feelings I had of insignificance.  What about you?  Do you ever struggle with feeling "less than" in the world?  Does your life feel ordinary and boring?  Well, as I've discovered, you are not alone.  I am not alone.  However, regardless of our career or life stage, we are fully loved and accepted by the King of Glory.  We are his and that is enough.  By his grace we are made new and that makes us uniquely His.  May we believe this truth and live the abundant life no matter who signs our paycheck.