"Stop Looking!"
I heard it again a few months ago. The speaker had a good point, but why did he have to use that illustration? How many times have I heard a similar story? I have listened to close friends, acquaintances, church leaders and authors. They make it sound so easy; as if it happens like that for everyone; as if it is the solution to every single person's struggle.
It begins something like this, "As soon as I stopped looking..." You can guess the ending. Usually it begins a talk about surrendering to God's will. The person sharing at one time prayed something such as, "Lord, if it's going to be only you and me for the rest of my life, I'm okay with that." But fortunately, the week after they pray this, they meet their soul mate and seem to be living happily-ever-after!
The first ten times I heard these stories as a young college student, I was encouraged and immediately prayed such a prayer, stopped looking at boys, and signed up for a women's only Bible study. But then I would lose focus, start noticing every boy that walked by and found myself discussing eligible bachelors with girlfriends. After years of frustration, I would return to the prayer, "Lord if I'm not suppose to get married, I'm fine with that." But after several months of being "fine with that," I would become impatient, start staring at handsome men again and long for just one of them to notice me. It was a vicious cycle that continues.
So, while I'm happy for those who prayed the "singles' surrender" prayer and then found their love within the next month, it doesn't always work that way. And I get sick of hearing the story. A word to married couples - don't give single friends advice about being single. This is one of the reasons I detest singles' Bible studies. Teach me to love God more each day and stop reminding me that I'm single. I'll be "fine" without a significant other, mainly because I feel like I have no other choice, so don't worry about me and know that I have surrendered my entire life to Jesus. But just to clarify, surrendering to Jesus is not the same as dating him!
It begins something like this, "As soon as I stopped looking..." You can guess the ending. Usually it begins a talk about surrendering to God's will. The person sharing at one time prayed something such as, "Lord, if it's going to be only you and me for the rest of my life, I'm okay with that." But fortunately, the week after they pray this, they meet their soul mate and seem to be living happily-ever-after!
The first ten times I heard these stories as a young college student, I was encouraged and immediately prayed such a prayer, stopped looking at boys, and signed up for a women's only Bible study. But then I would lose focus, start noticing every boy that walked by and found myself discussing eligible bachelors with girlfriends. After years of frustration, I would return to the prayer, "Lord if I'm not suppose to get married, I'm fine with that." But after several months of being "fine with that," I would become impatient, start staring at handsome men again and long for just one of them to notice me. It was a vicious cycle that continues.
So, while I'm happy for those who prayed the "singles' surrender" prayer and then found their love within the next month, it doesn't always work that way. And I get sick of hearing the story. A word to married couples - don't give single friends advice about being single. This is one of the reasons I detest singles' Bible studies. Teach me to love God more each day and stop reminding me that I'm single. I'll be "fine" without a significant other, mainly because I feel like I have no other choice, so don't worry about me and know that I have surrendered my entire life to Jesus. But just to clarify, surrendering to Jesus is not the same as dating him!
hmmm...well, I am going to comment and think that I can since I was single for 32 years and totally know how you're feeling.
ReplyDeleteI remember not wanting to hear advise from people who got married when they were 21. They just didn't understand.
But I do think that really, when it comes down to it, singleness is the same as so many other things that we go through in life. It's just one of those places that we have to submit to God and say "I don't like this, but I know You know what you're doing with me." I heard someone say the other day when talking about the sovereignty of God, his absolute control over our lives, that the bit to remember with that is that not only is God sovereign, but He is also good. That's tough to remember in the midst of our life stuff isn't it.
I love your honesty Sarah.