Storm

April has started off rough. It may be difficult for me to explain, but it might help to get a few things expressed on...um, screen.

Sunday evening I did something that I frequently found myself doing in college to calm myself and allow myself to think. I can't remember a time when I have done it since moving to Boston, but I needed to do it that night. It was a long weekend; a good weekend of serving some friends in Quebec, but I didn't realize how tired I was as I entered a meeting for Young Life. The meeting was good, but my people level was at it's peak and so by the end of the meeting, I needed to flee. Once I got in my car, I knew that just to take a drive out Rt. 2 would be helpful. Then I could really let my tears flow and cry out to God. Thirty minutes later my emotions were a little more stable and the Spirit of God had calmed most of my fears. I found some peace in His presence and hope in the assurance of His faithfulness. My most pressing need that evening was rest. By grace, I found rest in Christ. Then I found sleep in my bed!

The week has flown by and today was the day I feared on Sunday. Early this afternoon I realized just what it meant to be a citizen of the U.S. With the help of a software program, I calculated that I owe Uncle Sam nearly 2/3rds of what's in my savings account! My response was both laughter and tears. Perhaps like many people, money issues always seem to cause me frustration. All I need is for someone to tell me that things will be okay. At that moment, I called my pastor/friend, he assured me that I would be all right. Later, I spoke with my dad, he also assured me this situation would be fine. I really want to believe both of them.

Later this afternoon, I was driving I-95 West Newton to Wakefield, MA as large snowflakes mixed with rain fell quickly from the sky. At times it was difficult to see due to the ice on my wipers and I travelled very slowly since cars and trucks were all around me. It wasn't any fun for me or the young girl in my car. She asked me why it was snowing. I wish I could have given her an answer. No one I called could tell me where the snow came from or how long the storm would continue. I wasn't prepared for a snowstorm. At one point, I thought of simply pulling off and waiting until the storm passed. Because of time, I pressed on. Stopping would not have helped. Traffic would have only gotten heavier as the work day ended and the roads would still have been covered in slush. The best thing was for me to stay focused on the road ahead and keep my foot on the accelerator (braking only when absolutely necessary). Having done this, I arrived home safely after dropping the girl off at her group home.

Every Wednesday night I serve free food and coffee out on the streets in Davis Square with a small group of other Christians. The snow had turned to rain and there we were, talking to people who passed by our table and offering them hot chocolate and enchiladas. It was a messing night to be outside, but it was right were I needed to be. Being out there caused me to see that each person has storms in life. Serving the community this evening was like a calm in my storm. At one moment I realized that I had not thought about my financial trouble at all while greeting people with a friendly smile and warm conversation. I still feel the pressure of the storm but know that the Lord will help me weather it, as He has every storm that has come into my life.