Needed Words

We met for a late lunch one Saturday afternoon. I was only in town for the day and I knew that I wanted to spend some time with my friend. She and I sat down with our food and began to catch up on all the activities of our lives. It had been months since the two of us had talked and it had been years since our friendship had drastically changed.

The few weeks leading up to this meeting, I had been seriously reflecting on my life's journey. My less than ideal friendship with this person had really been a source of hurt and frustration. We had never actually talked about what happened to cause our friendship to suddenly change. I wondered if it was even worth bringing up, but I needed to know something. I needed to hear something for myself, even though I knew it was true.

As we finished our meal, we were reminiscing about good times and good friends. It just seemed as if it were the perfect opportunity to bring up what was truly on my heart. "Speaking of those days, can we talk about what happened between us?" I ventured to ask. It was a little awkward bringing up something that had happened six years prior, but as we spoke honestly about feelings and actions, it became clearer what it was what I was in need of. I spoke directly, "I just need to know that I am forgiven. I am sorry that I hurt you. Do you forgive me?" There, I said it, and then I waited.

Thankfully my friend did not take my question lightly and casually offer a reply such as "sure." Instead we asked each other what specific actions we needed to forgive. Obviously we did not want to dig up every unkind word spoken or harmful action, but there were a few outstanding deeds that came to mind right away.

There was a pause in our conversation as we both thought about that time in our friendship. She then spoke these words, "Sarah, I do forgive you." These words I had heard from others but never had they meant so much. I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. After years of stuffing it away and telling myself that it didn't matter, I was free. I was released from my indiscretion in my friendship with this person and I had shared with her my forgiveness.

I am thankful that our conversation did not end on that heavy of a note. We continued to talk, focusing on the present and each of our future plans and goals. Our friendship lives not in the past, although it was good to visit that time for a moment and work things out, but we have both moved on. Our friendship has undergone some drastic changes, but it is good and healthy.

Forgiveness is as important to friendships as laughter, honesty, and time well spent. Often we under estimate saying the words, hoping or rather, assuming forgiveness is present. We must be sure to take the effort to speak the words, "I forgive you." We never know what chains might be broken and whose spirit will be lifted.